The exam was intimidating, and also not cheap; she didn’t want to have to repeat it. Until recently, it had given her tremendous motivation. She would squeeze every bit of study she could into her evening hours -- usually an hour and a half, to be accurate. Once she was immersed in her texts, the rest of the world blurred, and she worked in a small, private universe of her own, limited to the warm bubble of light from her desk lamp.Lately, though, her mind had been wandering, and it was annoying. It was embarrassing, too, because the problem was -- it was hard to admit this, even to herself -- that her mind was turning to sex. She’d had an unpleasant experience a few years earlier with a boy from school whom she had been seeing, and since then, sex had been almost entirely a non-topic for her; she just didn’t think about it. But this year, during the tail end of winter and the early spring, when things had been terribly dull, certain longings had begun to creep into her thoughts,. Fortunately she had checked and there was no evidence that they had done anything. She cursed herself for even suspecting. She could be so stupid at times. But even so she was deeply disturbed by the experience and could not hide the fact that she was not herself for the rest of the evening. ‘That seemed to go well.’ Tom was leaning on the doorway of the study after Ricky had left. ‘He seemed pleased with what I presented to him and has asked me to develop some of the ideas further. He will come round one evening next week to discuss them. So it all seems to have gone well.’ ‘Are you OK Sara? You didn’t seem quite yourself tonight.’ She turned towards her husband and felt her heart plummet. ‘It wasn’t easy to meet him for the first time all alone you know.’ She challenged him. ‘I am so sorry about that darling. Sam was very upset and I couldn’t just leave him and come to promote myself. I promise I will be here next week when he calls.’ Tom held Sara in his arms and she felt some.
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